Klaatu, Gort! Where Are You?

In the wonderful 1951 classic sci-fi film, The Day the Earth Stood Still, an alien visitor from an advanced civilization, Klaatu (played by Michael Rennie), tries in vain to make the inhabitants of the planet Earth pay attention to his message, which is that the earthlings must mend their bellicose ways or face destruction. He succeeds, momentarily, in getting their attention by causing all electrical devices to stop working for 30 minutes (with charitable exceptions). Alas, the Zonemaven has no such powers - powers which would cause the City Council to pause and to focus on the issue of single family zoning enforcement. So during yesterday’s afternoon committee session, the spotlight was diverted to enforcement of noise, litter, and parking codes to name a few. Attack the supposed symptoms and the disease goes away.

This folderol unfortunately, spilled into the evening session where, it seems, the only council member to “get it” was the author of the motion of 8 October *, Terry Bornemann, who struggled, like Klaatu, to remind everyone that his motion had to do with enforcement of the existing code on single family zoning. Now the council has directed the Mayor to look into decriminalizing the code infraction and/or revising the code itself. No matter that the code merits criminal, civil, or even corporal punishment (I can think of the pillory, stocks, tar and feathering among a few choices.) in the final analysis you must deal with the code language because the definitions really mean something. If you cannot define single family or multi-family or industrial or commercial or mixed use with respect to zoning, then you have no zoning, you have little or no control over density and you have lost the trust of the citizenry who see that you have put your imprimatur, at worst, or your nihil obstat, at best, on illegal rooming houses.

Back to the movie. In the end, Klaatu is shot dead by the U.S. Army but is revived by Gort, his robot fellow-traveller who is roused into action by Helen Benson (played by Patricia Neal) with the now iconic phrase, “Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!”

The council needs to think this one over carefully. There is no Gort this time.

*From the minutes of the 8 October 2007 City Council minutes: "Bornemann / Knutson moved to direct staff to prepare a pilot program regarding enforcement of complaints relating to more than three unrelated individuals living in a home. The motion carried 5-2."